Gaming Is My Radar

A bad movie based game?

2009-05-19T22:52:00.000-04:00

Here’s a shocker for you. Are you Ready? Good. Sales of movie based games are down. Well at least according to new data from the NPD group. So far some of the biggest movie based games of this have sold very few copies. Games like Wanted: Weapons of Fate, and The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena have not been up to par.

It’s rare to find a good video game based on a movie. There have been a few, but only a few. So this may not be a bad thing. Maybe some gamers are starting to wise up, and to them I say good for you. Took you a while, but good for you.

Fallout 3 will never leave us

2009-05-19T22:49:00.000-04:00

Hey PS3 users do you feel a little left out by not getting any Fallout 3 DLC? Well now you feelings of left outness can go away because, Bethesda Studios has announced the fist bit of DLC for you guys. That’s right any PS3 only person will be able to enjoy Operation: Anchorage this June. There is no set release date for The Pitt and Broken Steel, but they should follow roughly four weeks apart.

And that’s not for Fallout 3 Xbox 360 owners and PC users will be aple to get two more thingys of DLC in July. Point Lookout and Mothership Zeta will set you back about 800 caps. I mean Microsoft points.

I can’t see the forest for the DLC

2009-04-20T22:50:00.000-04:00

So, it seems you can’t drive a city bus with a bomb on it that needs to stay above fifty, or it will explode with out running into some down loadable content (DLC.) And what a year it has been for DLC. Huge games like Grand Theft Auto, Fallout 3 and Prince of Persia, have or have planed some DLC. You don’t need to be a year seven Hogwarts student to see how fast DLC has resin. There is even a strategy guide and T.V. commercial for the Lost and Dammed. So, What does this mean for up coming sequels? Are we going to have to wait longer? The makers of Dragon Age announced they plan to support the game with two years worth of down loadable content. In two years you could have a full sequel ready to go. Just look a Gears of War.

Now DLC has many and I mean many good advantages. The first one being it can add life to a semi new game. Like new missions and map packs for games that will make you take the game off the self and back into your concel. DLC is also a must for the music based games like Rock Band an Guitar Hero. With new track packs being added every five seconds or so.

So, why would a company make a new game when they can get some cash on a few extra levels? And we all ready know it can take a while for a sequel to come out. Just look at Resident Evil 5 and Metal Gear Sold 4. I’m willing to bet a pile of space candy Capcom and Konami are planning some DLC for those games right now. So, I would not hold my breath for any sequels right now.

Awards out the Wazoo and Wazoo out the awards.

2009-04-02T22:19:00.002-04:00

So, I’m sure no one was surprised to see Fallout 3 taking home the game of the year award at this years Game Developers Choice Awards. In the words of Threedog I say "nice job 101" For anyone who is not aware the Game Developers Choice Awards is where game developers give awards to other game developers for developing games. And it always takes place at the Game Developers Conference.

GDC is kind of like the the plan salad you get it first eat some of it, but really you’re waiting for the stake coved with cup cakes filled with money, or E3 as everyone else calls it. But, I am getting of topic. Let’s focus on the Game Developers Choice Awards. Some other notable winners include: LittleBigPlanet for best game design, Fallout 3 for best writing, Prince of Persia for best art visual God of War: Chains of Olympus for best handheld game. And I think that is all that’s worth talking about

Oh, except for the Lifetime Achievement Award. And this year it went to the highly deserving Hideo Kojima. The mastermind of the Metal Gear Sold games.

[Updated] Call of Duty - no more - Modern Warfare 2 trailer makes its way online.

2009-03-26T14:24:00.005-04:00

Many things were announced at this year's GDC, yet the only this teaser for Modern Warfare 2 got me excited. Maybe its because I'm a sucker for any trailer that ends off with big ominous numbers, or maybe its because I really enjoyed Call of Duty 4? Either way, I wish they'd figure our what number in the Call of Duty series this game represents, especially since I was told quite bluntly during last year's X'08 in Toronto that World at War was not the 5th entry in the series. This is nitpicking, I know, but I'm not about to describe the trailer for you - you should be watching it by now.

Call of Duty Something-or-other: Modern Warfare 2 will drop Nov. 10th 2009. (the numbers told me so)

Update: According to Joystiq, Activison has settled the dilemma of which iteration of the Call of Duty series Modern Warfare will represent. The answer? It won't. As of today, Modern Warfare is its own series. Take THAT Call of Duty.

Obligatory Best of 2008 List

2009-03-25T12:00:00.002-04:00

The good news is 2008 is over. I say good, because like the year before it the gaming industry decided to launch a frontal assault on our wallets with many triple A titles; Gears of War 2, Fallout 3, Grand Theft Auto 4, Metal Gear Solid 4 and Super Smash Brothers to name a few. Heck, even some original I.P.s managed to rear their sweet little heads (Hello, Spore and Dead Space). But the sad reality is, at the end of the year all these titles must be put through the human juggernaut known as the ‘Best of List’ – where the best are taken and distilled even further to a couple of choice titles that scream to the audience ‘own me!!!’, while the others sit in the corner lamenting the judges decisions on technicalities and popularity. Actually I might have just started talking about Little League Baseball.

Either way, here are MY choices for the best titles of last year:

Runner-Up:

LittleBigPlanet
Judging by the plethora of YouTube videos showcasing people’s musical talents via the SNES game Mario Paint, one could say that was the precursor to the kind of madness one is seeing with LittleBigPlanet. Of course, back in the mid-90s it was rather difficult to know others were franticly recreating songs or making little animated films through their gaming console, which makes LBP all the more noteworthy.

The game is two things; A fun and innocent platform and a really robust toolset for custom level creation. While the latter may seem daunting and not up your alley, the benefit of very well integrated online community has given LBP an almost infinite replayability beyond its pre-made levels. As an example, just yesterday I was playing through a user’s fully-realized interpretation of the popular film, The Matrix. Every staple of the film was accounted for: the red pill, training in the Dojo and fighting various suited agents. All presented as a fun platforming gaming experience no less.

In fact, you’ll be surprised to find how many popular games have their own custom LittleBigPlanet levels, everything from Duck Hunt, Super Mario Brothers, Pac-Man, right up to a take on Sony’s current-gen shooter Resistance. And the best part, it’s all free to download and play. If ever an argument was to be made that gaming inspires creativity, look no further than LittleBigPlanet - and possibly Mario Paint.

Game of the Year:

Grand Theft Auto IV
Let’s be honest, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas wasn’t very good. In its attempt to throw in everything including the kitchen sink, the end game resulted in a bloated mixed-bag of failed ambition (does that even make sense?). Thankfully, developer Rockstar North reevaluated their approach with Grand Theft Auto IV and the result is nothing short of a masterpiece. Gone is the overly expansive terrain, the myriad of useless side activities and the pointless emphasis on eating and body building. In its place is a meticulously crafted homage to New York City, lovingly wrapped up in a well-written Mafioso narrative.

Now, the game is by no means perfect. There was an attempt to shake up the mission variety that failed for the most part. Likewise, the much-scrutinized auto-targeting system still continues to offers mixed results despite an earnest attempt to fix it.

Yet, despite these flaws, you’re given a very cohesive experience that simply cannot be matched by any game released last year. The sheer size and interactivity of Liberty City is staggering. Exploring every nook in cranny of the city can realistically take up as much time, if not more, as it would to complete the game’s story. Only Fallout 3 comes close to recreating this kind of wow-factor. That said, I found Bethesda’s open world a tad bit too open, suffering from the same kind of travel tedium as seen in San Andreas. The production value of GTA4 is brilliant; the signature radio stations return, as well as the newly added television channels and even an in-game Internet that evolves with the story. All of it expertly voice-acted with production values that often surpass their real-life counterparts.

I could honestly gush about this game for several pages more, instead I’ll leave you with this, at the end of the day, despite all its technical merits, this game is a lot of fun. You honestly can’t ask for more from a game.

Honorable mentions: Fallout 3 and Gears of War 2.

Finally, a quick list of games I didn’t think would be very good and ended up surprising me quite a lot, in a section aptly titled:

A quick list of game I didn’t think would be very good and ended up surprising me quite a lot:

Brothers in Arms: Hell’s Highway
You tell me you got a new World War 2 shooter and I sigh at the prospect of raiding Normandy for the umpteenth time. Well, color me surprised when I found none of that here. In fact, despite being a first person shooter, Brothers in Arm’s mixes things up with the addition of squad-based combat, emphasizing the need to flank your opponents rather than just running and gunning. Add to this a really well done story and you got me ready for the inevitable sequel.

Saint’s Row 2
Despite a worrying ad campaign that promised to do things the other guy (read: GTAIV) didn’t offer, Saint’s Row 2 actually manages to be a fun sandbox gangster game without the clutter. The story is oddly engaging and genuinely funny, and the activities (which try to compensate for GTAIV’s lack of covering people in human fecal matter) are actually quite fun. If GTA is the equivalent of a Scorsese film in video game form, than Saint’s Row 2 is a carnival – the fun kind.

Dead Space
Those who are worried the survival horror genre is on its last legs in terms of originality should look no further than this game. Although the set-up is nothing new – you’re a single man stuck in a large environment of bloodthirsty mutants – everything about the gameplay seems fresh and exciting. Brilliant lighting effects actually make the environments genuinely creepy, the control scheme is actually functional and the story is (gasp!) good. And here I thought we’d be stuck with sub-par Silent Hill and Alone in the Dark sequels for the rest of our lives. Do yourself a favor and pick this game up.

It is worth fighting for Chris

2009-03-15T22:31:00.000-04:00

So, I must say I am really enjoying Resident Evil 5. I also must say this is not a review. I’m only on the begging of the third chapter, and I don’t want to do a review this early on into the game. So, why make a post well, jerk It has been far to long since my last post, and I just wanted to share my joys of Resident Evil 5.

We all know this game had a lot to live up to after Resident Evil 4 came a long four years ago. RE4 drove by in a fancy car full of hot girls and we loved the ride. Well most of us anyways. I was a little nervous when I saw the inventory system in RE5 it looked like a throw back to RE0. Which I enjoyed, but we really could have used item boxes. However, In RE you can carry up to 18 items with you and your partner and can from a stockpile of items picked up. So, say you die in a boss fight because you only had a handgun and one First aid spray you start again from the fight but can switch your items before hand. Only 18 items may not seem like a lot during regular game play, but trust me it is. You go through a fair bit of ammo and health. The game is fun both playing with somebody, or with the AI partner.

So, Resident Evil 5 is worthy to follow Resident Evil 4.

Fallout 3 and GDC

2009-01-27T23:01:00.000-05:00

Three Dog here with all the latest news from the Wasteland. No, wait that’s not right. Well the Three Dog and the Wasteland part is wrong, but the news part is right. So about 50% of that last part was true. Wait, was it over 50? Nuts to this here is some game news.

Sticking with the Fallout topic there is some new DLC is up for the 360 and PC. The DLC or Operation Anckorage as the cool kids call it will place in a battle between US and China before the nuclear holocaust. But that’s not Chilldren you can also explore the ruins of good ol’ Pittsburgh. This will set you back about 800 MS points or Ten dollars.

So, what does March hold for gaming? Well a little something called Resident Evil 5 and the Game Developers Conference. This years GDC will run from March 23-27 in San Francisco. The keynote space will come from the President. Well the President of Nintendo Satoru Iwata. He is no stranger to GDC (duh) His fist appearance was back in 2006 when he showed of the Phantom Hourglass.

I’ll make this quick.

2009-01-12T22:11:00.000-05:00

The new year is in full swing and there lots of good games to look forward to in 2009. But let’s see how thing went for Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo.

Things are looking good in Microsoft land. The company is reporting strong sales of the Xbox 360. So strong that worldwide sales are now up to 28 million world wide. X box live has an estimated 17 million users.

And things are looking good for Sony as well. They are reporting sales of the Playstation 3 have gone up 130% over last year. So if only nine people bought a PS3 last year, and this year 12 or 15 people bought one, yeah I’d say that’s 130%.

So what’s going on with Nintendo? Well rumors are they have plans to build a swimming pool of money like in duck tales. Ok that might not be true. I’ll look into that one.

No place like Home.

2008-12-11T01:10:00.004-05:00

I’m sorry to report the world will be ending soon. Although, depending on who you ask, this might not be anything new, or if you wanna get really existential about the whole thing, it’s an inevitable outcome so why worry about it. But, I digress, the world is ending soon and I figured I’d warn you all.

Today will finally see the release of Playstation’s pseudo-second life rip off/gaming hub pleasantly titled ‘Home’. A project, Sony has been working on since early 2005. In a nutshell, it’s a virtual world where you take your avatar to other people’s houses and challenge them to games of Warhawk. Why you can’t simply message a friend and ask for a game of Warhawk is certainly a stupid question. As we know, half the fun of multiplayer gaming is the hunt for another player… or so Sony seems to think so… and CliffyB for that matter, or until they finally fix the matchmaking in Gears of War 2. Again, I digress.

Like Guns ‘N Roses fabled Chinese Democracy; Home was never supposed to come out. Oh, sure, Sony’s been hyping the thing since 2005, yet delay after delay kept it from the eager, not to mention chicken-grease covered, paws of socially starved Playstation 3 users around the world - all 40 of them. Yet, here’s the rub, and were all this end of the world hullabaloo comes in, a few months ago Xbox players who completed the recently re-released Duke Nukem 3D on Live Arcade were treated to several screenshots of the now-mythical Duke Nukem Forever. Re-enforcing the very scary notion that the title was not only still in development, but nearing some-sort of completion. Then, last month, after 17 years, Rocker Axl Rose finally bowed his seminal work ‘Chinese Democracy’, an album no one thought they’d ever hear – including Axel Rose who was once quoted as saying, “I don’t think we’ll ever hear Chinese Democracy. If we do, we’re all fucked!” Finally, two days ago, Sony announced the release of ‘Home’ to the public.

People, I can’t tell you how worrying all this is.

We have arrived at the threshold of the apocalypse, and I have proof in the form of this crudely made diagram:

It’s has been long speculated that the sudden existence of three-impossible scenarios would herald the end of days. Many in the scientific community have referred to this as the Second Triumvirate. The First Triumvirate, of course, being the unofficial political alliance of Gaius Julius Caesar, Marcus Licinius Crassus, and Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus in 60 BC and having virtually nothing to do with the Second Triumvirate besides sharing a similarly bad-ass name.

The theory behind The Second Triumvirate is that when these three impossible scenarios are position around the Earth in a triangular formation, they will create an inter-dimensional shift that rips a hole through time and space, causing everything to collapse in on itself. In layman’s terms, it would be like sitting on oneself.

The identities of these scenarios have appeared in various woodcuttings throughout the ages:

The first two, Chinese Democracy and Home have recently become realities. The final, Duke Nukem Forever has yet to be released. However, as stated earlier, all signs point to its completion very soon. Once that event comes to pass, I’m afraid there will be nothing to stop the forces of evil from destroying all life in the universe.

So what can be done? Can anything be done? In short, yes. While it’s too late to stop ‘Home’ – although one can hope for another delay, George Broussard and his team at 3D Realms are still toiling away at the final puzzle piece to the apocalypse. While I have very little experience with saving the world, I would imagine as a society we could band together and create an extensive letter writing campaign to the game’s distributor demanding the project to halt. Or, perhaps, order several thousands of pizzas to the 3D Realms offices, simultaneously bankrupting them and raising the development team’s cholesterol to levels where they could no longer safely function.

Either way, the stage has been set. I just thought I’d give you guys some heads up. In the meantime, I’m going to look for someone to play Warhawk with.

People still play Counter-Strike 1.6?

2008-12-11T00:37:00.001-05:00

Although this video isn't exactly new, it's been making the rounds on various other gaming blogs and I thought I'd throw it up as well, because it's admittedly very cool. Someone with the unfortunate net handle of 'Nipper,' took it upon himself to create a Counter-Strike 1.6 mod in the key (or palette, I suppose) of Vincent van Gogh's work. Perhaps this will finally prove to Roger Ebert that gaming can be an art form, even if its a tad bit literal.

No word if the mod allows you to cut off terrorist's ears and leave them in the procession of a prostitute named Rachel. Yeah, I went there.

Check out Nipper's official site, although the mod doesn't seem to be available there.

In Space no one can hear you backtrack.

2008-12-05T12:22:00.002-05:00

If you haven’t guessed this is a review of Dead Space.

In the game you take the role of Isaac Clarke, an engineer who also makes a good living killing aliens. After you and your team crash on a space station you need to work on, it becomes clear that things are not right. The first clue is that the place is overrun by blood-thirsty aliens!

This is where the fun begins. And by fun, I thankfully mean all the little missions you're sent on. After you find your first weapon, a Plasma cutter, you can use it to sever the limbs of aliens you encounter. Which, by the way, you can also get beaten over the head with. Then you’re sent by your team to go look for stuff. The kind stuff that helps you survive and get off the horror filled space station. Pretty straight-forward.

The controls in the game hold up pretty well. Quite surprising when you consider it’s a horror game. The map and inventory screen can hover in front of you while you walk around, so that’s pretty, however, it's not the easiest HUD to read. It’s really sweet to curb stop the limps off an alien or dead human. Likewise, you also play around in zero gravity, but that's too linear for its own good. In the end, the game is pretty fun and a little spooky. However, if you're looking to pick this up, wait until the price drops below $40.00.

News: I’ll have a slurpee a hot dog and World of Warcraft

2008-11-24T23:02:00.003-05:00

Did anyone happen to stop by a 7-Eleven before November 13th and get a copy of Wrath of the Lich King? If so don’t bet on picking up any more early titles at the convenience store chain. While 7-Eleven does plan on carrying video games regularly, they'll need to improve their street date policy, so says 7-Eleven spokesperson Margaret Chabris in an interview with MTV Multiplayer.

"We need to comply with industry standards. Not only do we council them [infringing stores], but right now we're working with our legal department to develop a policy that we're going to be sharing with our franchises at our stores saying there would be repercussions if they didn't comply."

The stores has plans to stock up on Gears of War 2, Call of Duty: World at War, Guitar Hero: World Tour and many other big titles.

And in Xbox news it looks like the 360 has out sold the original Xbox, this according to the VP of Microsoft Interactive Entertainment business for Europe, Chris Lewis. He also added that the 360 has sold over 25 million units. So, um good for them.

The 360 outsells the PS3 for the most part, but Microsoft has a lot of work to do it they want to overtake the PS2. Which still has good sales, despite being an 8 year-old system.

A Fireside Chat with Cliff Bleszinski

2008-11-19T15:18:00.006-05:00

Since most of us are still in our Gears 2 honeymoon phase, I thought it would be appropriate to release this quick interview I did with Lead Game Designer Cliff ‘Dude Huge’ Bleszinski earlier in the year. And yes, to answer your question, his hair was awesome that day. But I digress:

I gotta ask, you recently dropped the nickname ‘CliffyB’. I know a lot of people have already asked you this, but why do that?

Just to get free news.

Really?

(Laughing) Honestly!

Because in a statement, you said, “CliffyB doesn’t sound very mature anymore, I want to be taken more seriously.” Yet, Gears of War 2 is a game about bugs - killing people - with chain saws.

I don’t know if I’d call them bugs, so much as lizard men from hell. The locust are mean and the game, yeah, it’s about the blood and the chainsaw and everything. But, this time around I’d like to think there’s a little bit of heart there. ‘Cause it’s a more epic war, but its also a personal story, especially for Dominic Santiago.

Do you play games still? I know you’re busy working on Gears of War, but do you still have time to be a gamer?

I do play games. I was recently playing Braid on Xbox Live, which reminded me of how stupid I am apparently, since I couldn’t figure out level 3. It’s extremely challenging. But, I think this holiday, there’s gonna be some great games coming out. Fable II looks tight. I also wanna play Dead Space and Mirror’s Edge.

The original Gears of War is highly respected, how do you approach the sequel to something like that?

Well, as much as we love the first game, the second we ship a product we always think there’s something we could be doing better. So we put our heads together, the leads all got in one room and we essentially hashed out all the cool stuff we could add. It turns out the list went on and on and on. We have tons of improvements to the cover system, we’ve got bots for the multiplayer, we’ve added a party system for the multiplayer, we’ve got seven multiplayer modes this time around, five-player co-op and a mode called Horde. I mean, the list just goes on and on and on. Also, the campaign’s longer too. So, it’s just a bigger, tighter, more fun experience overall.

How do you respond to the criticism that the new game looks a lot like Gears of War 1.5?

I think, when people get hands-on with the game, they’ll clearly see its Gears 2. Those who feel it’s Gears 1.5, maybe they’re expecting us to put a jump button in, or unicorns, or rainbows, or something like that. But we’re honestly not gonna do that. It still has to be Gears, and we have to deliver what Gears fans want.

You don’t think if at the end a giant Unicorn swooped down and Marcus starts shooting rainbows at it, it wouldn’t be good?

I mean, maybe if they were rainbows that were completely red and made of blood - and maybe if it’s head opened up like in the movie The Thing. I think that would be cool. But, other than that, I don’t know if there’s any room for it.

Where do your sensibilities for creating games come from then?

I think a lot of my sensibilities, personally, as far as what I like to do, is put in a lot of that Nintendo-ness - as far as the old school Super Nintendo games. As far as the responsiveness of the controls and just moving your character should feel good before anything else feels good. And then shooting your weapon should feel good. And then we start moving outward from there and give the game almost a little bit of a classic Mortal Kombat edge - as far as the content and the grittiness that’s in there. When you wrap that up with a big sci-fi wrapper, as far as the narrative and having an excellent writer and excellent musician on board, then hopefully we have a triple-A blockbuster that feels like your playing a summer action movie.

Let me guess, Bigger, Better and more Badass?

Well yeah, it’s more badass, but we’re kind retiring that phrase ‘cause it’s a little played out now. But, I’d just like to say the game is more epic and more intimate. Just a larger scale, but its also a more personal story for the guys involved.

Do you hate when you get hammered by the community? Like when people come after you for saying something like ‘Bigger, Better and more Badass’ or when they start calling you ‘Dude Huge’?

Umm, Honestly, I’m just glad people are talking. You can call me whatever the heck you want as long as you play Gears of War 2.

This article originally appeared here: http://www.spacecast.com/spaceblog_5698.aspx

A brief look at Gears of War 2

2008-11-05T12:14:00.005-05:00

A little under two weeks ago, I had a chance to play through a good chunk of Gears of War 2. However, an NDA prevented me from talking about certain parts of the game until yesterday. So, I figured it was better to wait with my impressions about what I saw rather then alluding to gameplay elements that I couldn't talk about. The good news is - as you've no doubt heard from full reviews - the game does a good job of living up to its hype.

Without blowing too much steam up Cliff "Don't Call Me CliffyB" Blezinski's ass, his promised delivery of a product that's "bigger, better and more badass" is right on the money. Gears 2 feels noticeably bigger in scope; thanks, in large part, to the improved level design. Gears 1 put you in the middle of a war between mankind and the Locust; yet, the world felt so confined that the player rarely felt like they were in the middle of something massive - due to the many hallways and corridors you spent the bulk of your time running through.

As you start Gears 2, you'll quickly realize the design team wanted to wash away that stigma. The moment you set foot on a Derek (those massive platform trucks seen in the first gameplay trailer), you'll see the difference in gameplay: huge mountain ranges, populated by massive trucks avoiding hordes (and I do mean hordes) of Locusts and Burmaks - all of which are trying to kill you. In fact, fans who complained about the inability to fight a Burmak in Gears 1 will be happy to know that by the end of the Derek run you'll have killed about three of them. The game consistently amps up the amount of action it throws at you, creating many great 'Holy shit' moments.

Bottom line: it's a lot of fun.

Control-wise, the game plays much like the first. There are new additions you've probably read about: the ability to crawl around for cover after being shot and the ability to use Locusts as bullet shields and a slew of new weapons. They're nice additions, although nothing earth-shattering.

I sometimes wish the game would take a look at the cover system employed by the Rainbow Six Vegas franchise - utilizing the left trigger to keep cover, rather then triggering the action with a face button. Gears still caused my character to needlessly switch sides in a door way, rather than breaking cover and allowing me to run through. It's a small gripe - nothing that ruins the overall experience.

As for the story, I haven't played enough to form a proper opinion. I will say that I learned very little about the Locusts' intentions from what I played. Instead, the story focused on Dom's search for his wife. From what I hear, the game does delve into the former later on in the game – so, I'll hold my reservations until then.

Finally, a friend asked if Gears 2 addressed his biggest complaint with the first game: the inability to approach scenarios in multiple ways - citing Halo 3 as a game with a better approach to open-ended gameplay. The answer is: kind of. In a way, Gears 2 is still very linear. The Derek chapter, for instance, is very much an on-rails shooter. You can't control the trucks and, honestly, you have very little options in terms of killing the enemy. However, with the amount of action happening around me, I didn't really care - I was too immersed in the game. Likewise, the developers wisely varied the action. You'll always be fighting clusters of Locusts throughout a level. However, sometimes you'll be fighting them from a roof top, a Derek, in the dark, etc. Essentially, the game is always giving you the most exciting path and improvisation would ruin the experience.

It's hard not to gush about Gears 2. It's pretty fuckin' awesome. There I said it. Hell, even the P.R. guy setting up my game couldn't help but admit how much he loved it, despite working for Microsoft. With that in mind, you'll have plenty to look forward to this Friday.

LittleBigDeal

2008-10-23T22:58:00.003-04:00

So the release of LittleBigPlanet (LBP) was delayed until the 27th of October, because of a little problem with a music track. Now most people who follow video games are aware of the praise and hype surrounding LBP. During the past year, most of the video game shows and magazine I follow have had nothing but praise for the game - how good it looks, how much fun it's going to be. Yet, for some reason I don’t see the big deal. Often you see ads for games and think, "Holy paint glue, I need to play this!". Take, for instance, the 2005 E3 teaser for Gears of War, or any ad for Bioshock. Still, every time I saw coverage or footage for LBP, I just thought "meh." It just does not look as good as it is said to be.

I mean what do you do in the game? You move, jump, grab stuff, use a jet pack and can slap another player in the face. I can also change the characters emotion with the D-pad... Yay!?. The user created content does seem pretty cool and is becoming a big part in some games. But it is not enough to get me excited about it?. You could make the argument that I’m not looking forward to LBP because I don’t own a PS3. Well trust me if I did have one I would not race out of my house to get a copy. I would rather save my $60 bucks for Fallout 3 or consider buying the PS3 version of Bioshock. Maybe if I play LBP my opinon of it will change, but I don’t see that happing anytime soon.

A Shot of Game News for Today

2008-10-15T22:57:00.002-04:00

I looked at the trap, Ray!
So for all those people looking forward to the Ghostbusters game you are going to have to wait a little bit longer. In a recent radio interview Dan Aykroyd announced the game is being delayed until next year. A delay is not a bad thing. If Ghostbusters needs more time to bake in the oven (and as a results it good), then I don’t mind waiting. But if the game is bad I’ll have Gozer on them so fast.

Didn’t need a crystal ball to see this.
The rumor of the centaury (at least for video games) has started up again. At some point, everyone has chatted at the water cooler about Metal Gear Sold 4 taking a trip to the 360. Well now Konami is saying the are 'looking' into it. This will not be Sold Snake’s first trip to Microsoft land. We saw a version of Metal Gear Sold 2 on the original Xbox.

So, How are thing at Umbrella?
A new trailer for Resident Evil 5 was shown off at Tokyo Game Show last week. If you’re a fan of Resident Evil then you’ll be happy to hear that.. wait, hang on, this might be a bit of a spoiler... that Albert Wesker will be in the game. You can bet he’ll be a big thorn is Chris’ side. Resident Evil 5 has a lot to live up to after 4 blew the socks off so many gamers in 2005. Capcom hopes to add spice to the series with the addition of online co-op.

Blizzcon Update: Battle.net to become Money.net

2008-10-11T16:34:00.007-04:00

Last night while talking to a friend about Blizzard's recent bombshell, we started making cracks about what surprises we can expect from Diablo III. Somewhere in that conversation was my prediction of “Battle.net! More like $9.99-a-month.net”.

Little did I know I would be semi-right less than 12 hours later. Joystiq is now reporting that during yesterday’s Diablo III gameplay panel Blizzard's Julian Wilson let slip that Battle.net couldn't stay free forever, "We are looking to monetize Battle.Net so that we get to keep making these games and updating features. We kind of have to." He added, however, that it's not in their plans to make the service subscription based. So like I said, I was semi-right.

All joking aside this move was inevitable. So let's put aside the idea that I’m naive enough to think Blizzard could maintain their current level of service for free - particularly with Diablo 3 and Starcraft 2 in the pipe line, not to mention a need to evolve the system to compete with the more community based Steam and Xbox Live.

What I find funny is Blizzard's dreadful timing for these announcements and bombshells. Currently they're hosting a large event in Anaheim dedicated to their upcoming slate of games and rather than pumping up attendees for these releases - they're providing more reason to avoid them. This is the sort of stuff you save for the 11th hour of a game's release, where anticipation is at such fever-high fans have no option but to give in. Not years in advance where gamers can take a hard look at their VISA statements and realize 149 dollars could be better spent elsewhere.

Anyways, the Blizzcon train rolls on. Who knows what kinds of announcements have yet to be made before the show's close? Perhaps one where you're first unborn child will need to be donated in order to play World of WarCraft 2: The Quest for More Bear Pelts.

(Is it wrong I secretly hope the latter title comes true?)

Dear Blizzard, go fuck yourself...

2008-10-11T00:58:00.005-04:00

I gotta figure Blizzard hates money. I'd like to think the whole point of business is to find the most efficient way of making money and, well, make it. Alienating your user base is probably a bad idea, but perhaps this is where I'm misinformed and Blizzard knows something I don't. Today word came from Blizzcon '08 that the long awaited StarCraft 2 will not be one game, rather three separate games - each devoted to game's three races. To put this in perspective, StarCraft 1, featured these same three races, all in one 49.99 package. Blizzard's new strategy is to give each campaign it's own "chapter" in the epic "StarCraft II trilogy" at a probable price point of 49.99 EACH. Mind you, under the guise that each campaign will offer StarCraft 1 sized content.

Look, here's the deal. StarCraft is not The Godfather, nor does its creative team have the same level of narrative talent as Puzo or Coppola. There are only so many variations on missions that require the acquisition of Vespene Gas and I suspect these chapters will push player’s tolerances to the limits.

In fact, if Blizzard can learn one hard lesson from Rockstar's Grand Theft Auto 4, it's that less is more. GTA4 could have been a masterpiece if it was about 10-15 missions lighter; as it stands the game feels bloated from repetition - and this is a sand box title, not an RTS that traditionally includes about as much diversity as the very Latin city of Los Angeles. Whatever amazing story Blizzard thinks its cooked up, I can bet you they don't need 90 fuckin' missions (across three fuckin’ games) to tell it*, much like The Dark Knight didn't need to be 2 and a half fuckin' hours long.

This is a cash grab - pure and simple. Defend the choice all you want, keep telling yourself 'More StarCraft R Good StarCraft', but $150 dollars for ONE story that has little to no variety after mission 20 is a joke. There's a reason no other multi-faction RTS has pulled a similar move (Expansions don't count, they're sold at lower price points as it is, often times they include multiple campaigns as well), it's because no company has had the balls to rip-off their consumer base so hard before.

But I suppose that's what one gets for merging with money-loving game giant Activision (who you may recall recently announced their plans to suck all life out of the Guitar Hero franchise by 2010). Still, as inevitable as it was that Blizzard would eventually succumb to temptation of money, it does hurt a little to see the company abandon its artistic integrity so soon – although an argument could be made about World of WarCraft.

So in short, go fuck yourself Blizzard.

*I couldn’t fit this into the rant, but it proves my point further. IGN followed up the announcement with an interview from Blizzard's executive vice president of game design, Rob Pardo - where he makes this statement: "We've only got a serious amount of content done on the Terran campaign. We haven't really done much with the Zerg or the Protoss yet; we have some paper design on the next two campaigns. We certainly have ideas for how some of the metamechanics are going to work; we have a few mission ideas for both campaigns, but almost all the real production work is entirely on the Terran campaign right now." Yeah, that's right, the epic story that requires three chapters to tell, isn't even fuckin' written. GG Blizzard. GG.

Fear and Loathing at X'08 Canada

2008-09-24T02:13:00.009-04:00

Last month I had a chance to sample many of Microsoft's Holiday titles at X08, their annual Canadian post-E3 media briefing thing-a-ma-jig. On hand was a large array of first party and third party titles, as well as Cliff (don't call me Cliffy B) Blezinski, who was flown in to talk about Gears of War 2 (I'll post a transcript of my interview with him in the coming days). X08 also reaffirms my notion that it's hard to not look like a Microsoft fanboy when coming back from one of these events. In one month I attended two media briefs; one by Microsoft, the other by Nintendo (Sony evidentially doesn't need any press). And, while I appreciate the Big N's one-on-one approach to showcasing their titles, the truth is their fall/winter line-up doesn't hold a candle to what the 360 has in store this year - even if Wii Music alone will outsell everything on the Xbox. The simple fact is, if you're a gamer, Microsoft has no shortage of games in the coming months.

But I digress; let's move on to the impressions:

GEARS OF WAR 2 (Multiplayer Only):
Let me get this out of the way first - I'm a huge Gears fan. I love the first game; it's probably one of my favorite titles on the 360. That being said, I don't get the title’s multiplayer mode. Halo multiplayer I love - Call of Duty multiplayer I love - but something about Gears third person, overly strategic based multiplayer turns me off. Call me a purist, but I love straightforward fragging with no added complications.

Still, Gear's multiplayer mode has it's fanbase and they won't be let down by GoW2's offering. I won't pretend to tell you how the new multiplayer modes are. To be honest, I can’t even say if I played one of them, but everyone around me was thoroughly impressed. The controls remain essentially untouched - a good move, given the game controlled very well the first time around. As promised, when injured you can crawl for better cover. Also, as promised, opponents now have more way of killing you when you're knocked down. I should know - I was killed a lot. And yes, locking chainsaws when dueling is very fun. From the looks of things, those who love Gear's multiplayer mode will have a lot more too look forward to.

For the rest of us Gears fan, we have much nicer visuals to look forward too. The game looks a lot better, which is again, saying a lot given how good the first title looked. Environments have tons of textural details; from foliage growing everywhere to extra bits of debris littering the world. A nice touch is how sheets of newspaper blow around the map. Overall, there is a lot more atmosphere here and it's welcomed. I couldn't find any chunks of destructible environment as promised in the early demonstration videos. I'm sure it's there - it's just kinda hard to survey a map when you're being killed all the time.

In summary, November can't get here soon enough. Unless you're a PC gamer.

FABLE II:
I have a love hate relationship with Peter Molyneux (or Uncle Pete as I call him). He's responsible for one of my favorite God games, the highly recommended Dungeon Keeper for the PC. Unfortunately, he's also responsible for one of the most overrated games ever, Black and White, which features one of the most confusing interfaces ever included in a video game. The space shuttle is easier to control. The man is ambitious; there is no denying that. However, his games tend to be crushed under said ambition.

Take for example the original Fable. It was well received. However, the final build of the game omitted many of the features originally promised, such as your characters ability to have children. Molyneux later apologized for these oversights.

So, it would seem that Fable II is an earnest attempt to right some of the wrongs of its predecessor, while expanding on the original concept of choosing between good and evil.

During my demo I was told a couple of things: Firstly, you can have children in the game (although you can't continue their story).

Secondly, the struggle between good and evil isn't as clear-cut as it once was. There are a lot of grey areas, meaning your decisions can affect both sides. This actually excites me quite a bit. As much as I like Mass Effect, I found the whole you're either good or evil narrative rather stale. It is 2008 after all, lets start pretending that some of our decisions have consequences that don't only fall on one end of the spectrum. Although it remains to be seen exactly how well this is utilized in Fable II.

Thirdly, that the game creates a unique experience for every game. No game world will be alike and to further emphasize this point, the game will feature an online co-operative mode allowing other gamers to visit and interact in your world (a move that can have its own set of positive or negative consequences).

My demo of Fable didn't include a lot of the above - it's a big game and given my short amount of time, I was thrust right into a quest. The controls are, thankfully, easy and intuitive. Fighting controls are mapped to the face buttons; press X for a melee attack, B for magic and your character figures out the rest. Guns now join your arsenal of potential ranged weapons and are a very welcome fit. Another big addition comes in the form of a dog that aids you on your journey. In my demo he assisted in everything from fighting to pointing where treasure was. Kudos should be given to the animation team on this one; the dog acts and moves extremely life-like. It's very cool to see in motion.

My quest ended with the discovery of the treasure I was apparently seeking, the contents of which was a rubber ball for my dog. Not exactly a worthy haul and I can only hope this isn't indicative of the missions offered by this game.

Coming in, I had no expectations for Fable II - but, after my short demo, I'm pretty interested in this title. It looks and feels great - and the features promised from Uncle Pete could make it a pretty great experience. Let's hope he doesn't have to issue any apologies this time around.

CALL OF DUTY: WORLD AT WAR:
Here’s a quick note, don’t refer to this game as Call of Duty 5 unless you want your ear screamed off by an Activision rep. Apparently, World at War is its own game – one that, by some coincidence, just happens to follow the most successful entry in the Call of Duty franchise. Gone is developer Infinity Ward and their modern warfare approach. Instead the game is developed by Treyarch, who had been previously responsible for the third installment of the franchise. The game returns the series to the World War Two era, this time focusing on the American's campaign against the Japanese and the Soviet's front in Eastern Europe.

I have mixed feelings about this “return to form”. The problem with Call of Duty 2 and 3 is that they very quickly fell into old habits. From their covers alone you can assume that at some point you will play an Allied solider, once again, storming the shores of Normandy - pretty standard stuff. Clearly, Infinity Ward felt the same, thus they shook up the formula with Call of Duty 4, bringing the game play into the present and reinvigorating the franchise. Playing World at War almost feels like a step back. If a bad analogy were to be made, it's like going back to regular Coke once you've tasted the splendor of Vanilla Coke.

This isn't to say the game looks bad (it's powered by a modified version of the CoD4 engine), nor does it play bad; the demo was entertaining enough, with all the usual cinematic enemy encounters and shoot outs you'd except from the franchise. Yet, it just doesn't feel fresh. I've played this before, in fact three previous times. That being said, the final product could complete change my mind – it remains to be seen.

So what did my demo consist of? Lots of running around lush jungles being ambushed by camouflaged Japanese soldiers. To shake things up you will occasionally be required to maneuver through water, which slows down your movement and makes you a sitting duck (of sorts) for enemy attacks. Eventually I came to a village where I was ambushed by, you guessed it, more Japanese soldiers. The violence is certainly grittier, including many deaths due to a flame-thrower. I was told by the rep that Treyarch has done a lot of research into this time period, ensuring players get a brutally accurate portrayal of campaigns in the game. I was pleased to find a lack of giant enemy crabs on the battlefield – generally a good sign of authenticity. Also absent from the demo were the voices of Keifer Sutherland and Gary Oldman, who will be featured in the final product.

All in all there's nothing wrong with World at War from what I’ve seen. But I won't deny my interest level is a little diminished given the familiar looking territory, even if the Pacific campaign is a first for the series. Call of Duty fans will no doubt find plenty to like here, particularly if you're previous exposure to the series consists primarily of COD4. Seasoned veterans, however, might consider going AWOL on this one.

BANJO-KAZOOIE: NUTS & BOLTS:
Remember when Microsoft's acquisition of Rare seemed like a multimillion-dollar bust? The company jumped ship from Nintendo in 2002 only to sit idly for several years releasing a scant few titles on the Gameboy Advanced, leaving Xbox owners scratching their head's about when the golden goose would finally lay its egg. Thankfully, the launch of the Xbox 360 saw the company return to active duty, developing the well received Kameo and Viva Piniata, prompting many to have restored faith in the reclusive British developer.

Their latest title is a sequel to their popular series which premiered all the way back on the Nintendo 64. And yet, Nuts and Bolts doesn't tread on old water. In addition to its platforming roots, the game has embraced a new vehicle construction system. Throughout a level you'll see a series of races and puzzles to solve, many of which will require the use of vehicles that are constructed by you, within the game. Sadly, I wasn't privy to the construction interface in my demo – instead I had to choose from a series of pre-made cars. Still, it's this feature alone that's really piquing my interest in the game.

Visually, Rare is continuing with their usual bright canvas of colors and large assortment of textured environments. Particularly neat is the choice to design the world as if it's been stitched together from various pieces of fabric. It’s oddly reminiscent of Sony's forthcoming Little Big Planet. In fact, both games share similar gameplay aesthetics – although Nuts and Bolts does feature a heavier emphasis on platforming.

Again, my time with the game was short, but I won't deny it looks like a lot of fun. It does, however, seem a tad bit on the easy side. At one point during a race I veered heavily off course, and when I finally rejoined the race I didn't find myself too far away from the other competitors. It's possible I was playing an early stage of the game - or, more likely, the game's family friendly atmosphere may skew the game play to the more accessible side. Either way, it wasn't a major issue for a demo.

Casual gamers should get a kick out of Banjo-Kazooi: Nuts & Bolts, where the more hardcore gamer might be intrigued by the possibilities in building a series of custom vehicles from over 1600 different components. So long as it keeps Rare from creating a sequel to Perfect Dark Zero, it should be a welcome addition to the Holiday season.

Guitar Hero 5: The Quest for More Money

2008-09-17T13:01:00.007-04:00

Kotaku reported the other day that Activision CEO Bobby Kotick has elaborated on his previously announced intentions to expand the Guitar Hero franchise. Apparently Kotick is hoping to have three times the Guitar Hero products on the market by 2010, meaning about 45,000 different versions of the series.

All this speculation a full month before World Tour, the series latest entry - not to mention a carbon copy of the Rock Band set up - hits the market. Now, don't get me wrong, World Tour will probably do very well, but you gotta figure most fans will be buying the title for the track list, not because of some staunch loyalty to the franchise. Furthermore, the fact that Activsion/Neversoft have failed to deliver on the mountains of promised downloadable content makes this latest announcement seem more like a cash-grab. Not an entirely new concept for Activision as of late. Where, in contrast, Rock Band's plentiful online market seem like the friendlier evil for acquiring new songs, even with a sequel to their game shipping this month.

Ironically, Activision seems to understand the revenue potential of their online marketplace; they're currently considering a subscription-based content delivery model. Despite this, they still feel the need to exhaust consumer's patience with derivative sequels. I don't think I'm breaking new ground by proposing that rather then releasing Guitar Hero: (insert name of whatever band allows you their license here), Activision could just as well release a reasonably priced song pack online. As much as I like The Who, I'd rather pay Rock Band 10 bucks for 12 songs, as opposed to 59 dollars for 40 songs (or 90 bucks for a bundle that includes a Les Paul sporting an image of Pete Townsend downloading child pornography onto his computer).

Not like anyone is creating new I.P.s these days, anyways. So perhaps I'm preaching to the choir. Maybe there is a market for officially licensed Guitar Hero: Air Rocker Guitars. Stranger things have happened.

Bill and Jerry, So happy together

2008-09-12T15:12:00.009-04:00

This may not be directly related to gaming, but it bears mentioning. By now you've probably seen Microsoft's first attempt to compete with Apple on the commercial front. However, have you seen their latest ad?

Unlike the original shoe ad, this one comes off as oddly brilliant. Although the final TV version will be chopped up into thirty second segments, effectively killing the overall arc of this piece. I say piece, because this really isn't an ad, it's a short film; a very funny primer for what should be a series of buddy comedies between Seinfeld and Bill. I'm no more inclined to buy a Windows product then I was before the ad, but as my cousin (who works for MS) reminds me,' it's intended to bring Microsoft back into the public eye'. That it does. Let's just hope they avoid using Vista.

Content from Space

2008-09-12T15:02:00.004-04:00

Thanks to my new position as 'Gaming Guru', 'Gaming Expert', 'Gaming Gamer' or whatever ever other terrible title we think of for me over at the Space Channel, I'll now be able to repost and/or transcribe a lot of the content I help create over there (as well as their official blog found at www.spacecast.com). So besides my rants about the industry, expect to find exclusive interviews, game previews and more in the coming months.

As a teaser, in the coming day I'll be posting my interviews with Gears of War create Cliff Blezinski as well as the dudes from Mega64.com. Likewise, I have hands-on impression of many games coming in the fall including Gears 2, Wii Music and Call of Duty: World At War (making me almost as cool as Michael Phelps... almost).

So stay tuned, this blog is about to get a lot more relevant.

E3 2008: Nintendo Press Conference Post-Mortem

2008-07-17T18:28:00.012-04:00

Who loves E3? Well, evidentially, nobody anymore. However, that shouldn't stop the mandatory post-conference analysis posts from being written. God knows us gamers need something to complain about, seeing how we're generally dissatisfied with everything the big three do.

The Hype: To be quite honest, not much. With the exception of the sequel to fan-favorite Animal Crossing (already spoiled a few weeks back by Nintendo Power), no one really knew what to except from the big N. Could a new Zelda or Mario be in the works? Maybe Nintendo would finally get its shit together and come up with a storage solution for all those Wii owners running out of space due to virtual console downloads. More then likely they'll just tout how great they are at selling consoles (kind of like what they did last year).

So, How'd It Go?: Look up the definition of boring and this conference may now be referenced. Look, no one is kidding themselves into believing these conferences are supposed be of Super-Bowl caliber, but at least make an earnest attempt to fool the public into thinking you had something worthwhile prepared. We get it, you're selling a lot of consoles to previously untapped demographics. So much so, that you've forgotten that consoles should be for games, not gimmicky tech demos to show off your motion-technology that no one, but you, seems to understand how to properly incorporate into video games.

It also doesn't help when President, Satoru Iwata, tries to pass off "next-generation" advancements as lacking in common sense. This is the kind of bullshit rhetoric Nintendo has been spewing for the last two years and frankly it's becoming tiresome. I fully understand Nintendo's success has come from a product that prides itself in "experience" over "content" - that being said, it's awfully naïve of Nintendo to believe that fans would want a Metroid title that looks like it was created six years ago. It also doesn't help that the early awaited Animal Crossing: City Folk looks IDENTICAL to its Gamecube predecessor – a game made well-over seven years ago. What's the incentive to re-buy a game for the Wii if the Gamecube version can be purchased at bargain-bin prices and offers the exact same experience (oh, sorry, minus a 16x9 480p).

It's precisely this kind of backwards thinking that allows for a console to be developed that can't even being to properly store the amount of data it's online marketplace offers, let alone game saves and system updates. It also doesn't help when a European VP for the company insults gamers asking for a solutions as 'nerds', especially when every other system on the market doesn't offer storage space lower then 20 gigs! The Wii, for comparison, only offers 512 megs of storage.

The Wii is a fun console, yet it was also outdated technology the moment it hit the market place. Of course it's the hubris of Nintendo to think technological advancement will slow down to cater to their philosophy of system design at lower costs for larger mass appeal. Not that that's the case anymore – the 360's recent price drop puts it within fifty bucks of the Wii.

I know this is the irrelevant ranting of a hardcore gamer to a company that cares only about the casual right now. Still, I wonder what their game plan is for the future? It certainly wasn't outlined here beyond selling more Wiis and DSs. Both Sony and Microsoft are looking to redefine their consoles to extend market life beyond the usual three to five years; they're already planning for the next generation of gaming. So what's Nintendo's strategy? It would be silly to release a Wii 2 with the rhetoric of not needing the latest and best technology for fun. Once everyone in the world has a Wii, what will Nintendo do? God knows many developers are already shying away from the system due to its 'fad' status – despite what Reggie Fils-Aime still seems to think. Notice the lack of new or previously unannounced third party titles on the system being presented at E3 – there's a reason for that.

Lastly, where the hell did they dig up Camy Dunaway? A cross between a former school teacher and uppity soccer mom, who spent the entire conference talking down to the audience as if they were third graders. We get it, you're trying to reinforce a family-friendly atmosphere for potential casual gamers; Whoop-dee-shit – make with the games lady!

The Megatons (if you can even call them that):
Wii-Motion Plus: I don't know whether to be happy or offended by this announcement. Basically Wii-Motion Plus is an add-on to the Wii-Mote that improves the controller's ability to detect subtle rotations. Anyone who's played with the Wii enough will attest to the remote being less then responsive during certain racing and sports titles.

On the one hand this is a much-needed update, on the other hand it's a bit of a fuck-you to consumers as this should have been included in the original Wii-Mote design. I don't buy the argument that this add-on was impossible when the Wii was first designed, nor do I believe that initial testing of the Wii-mote didn't raise questions about the questionable sensitivity of the device. I hate to come off as some sort of conspiracy nut, but this seems like a great way to force ten million plus users into buying a peripheral they should have had in the first place (cue X-Files theme).

(Also, does no one find it weird that we need a motion improving add on for the Wii-mote, but not the accompanying Nun-chuck controller? In most of the demos during the conference both are used, and both seem to work as responsively. Hmm.)

Animal Crossing: City Folk w/ Wii Speak: No big surprise that they officially revealed Animal Crossing for the Wii. As I said earlier, the announcement was ruined prematurely in Nintendo Power a little while back. Likewise, I've already brought up how the game doesn't really look a whole lot better then it did on the Gamecube - though that may actually be a welcome choice for some purists. The real let down with this announcement- that furthers my argument about Nintendo's real lack of forward thinking - is that this title doesn't live up to the rumors about it being Nintendo's first foray into massive multiplayer online gaming.

There may be no better Nintendo franchise suited for such an endeavor (save for Pokemon) and yet what we're given is the same game with a very weak online element. Yes, you can now have friends visit your town and interact with some limited co-op mini games. Yet, in a franchise that prides itself on creating a world that lives on - even when you don't play it - it would be much more exciting to have an entire online community populate and keep it growing. Basically, it could have been Nintendo's answer to second life. Instead, it's just Animal Crossing 1.5 – which is nice, but also too safe.

The real surprise, which was coupled with the Animal Crossing announcement, is the new Wii Speak peripheral – a sort of microphone thing that broadcasts your voice, as well as anyone else in the room, into the world of Animal Crossing. This seems to be Nintendo's response to the 360's and PS3's voice chat options, except right now it only works with two games. Too bad this wasn't released earlier, as trash talking might have been a nice addition to Mario Kart Wii or Super Smash Brothers. Also, as someone who hates speakerphones, I wonder how much use something like this will get on a regular basis.

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars: Yet another potentially big announcement ruined by a lack of information, game footage, or development status. Clearly Grand Theft Auto on any Nintendo console is a big deal, however, at the moment it's all a large cock-tease. Also, bear in mind that this isn't the first Grand Theft Auto title to grace a Nintendo hand-held - a previous title was released for the Advance to mixed reviews.

Additionally, I wonder if Rockstar (or whoever they place in charge of development) can recreate the awesome experience of the PSP GTAs on the DS. While the hardware has been quite impressive in the past, I'm curious to see if any variation of Liberty City, Vice City, etc can be brought to a flash-based format. My hunch is that the 'Chinatown' moniker is quite apropos when describing the game's size.

You Might Have Missed:
Jessica Chobot, a gamers' wet dream, as part of the show's opening montage; probably the only highlight of this conference.

The announcement that a new Mario and Zelda title are in the works. Oh, don't worry if you think you missed this. The announcement was over even before it began, brushed aside to talk about Wii Sports and Wii Fit. Very telling of Nintendo's current attitude.

In Summary: Come this Holiday season you'll be able to choose from a Snowboarding gaming use that Wii Fit pad you probably still won't be able to find in stock, a remake of Animal Crossing that does nothing new or a music game which makes you look like a complete retard. So basically, nothing anyone over the age of ten would bother with.

Oh, also:

E3 2008: Microsoft Press Conference Post-Mortem

2008-07-16T16:25:00.000-04:00

Who loves E3? Well, evidentially, nobody anymore. However, that shouldn't stop the obligatory post-conference analysis posts from being written. God knows us gamers need something to complain about, seeing how we're generally dissatisfied with everything the big three do.

The Hype: Pre-conference speculation pointed towards some sort of GUI update for the dashboard, especially considering that Microsoft skipped its annual spring update this year. Coupled with rumors the company was tinkering with Wii-like Avatars and a Minority Report style interface, this was sure as shot as any. Other considerations were the unveiling of a new Halo title, the announcement of the long rumored Wii-like motion-sensing controller, the possible announcement of Duke Nukem 3D coming to live, some sort of Sing-star like game, and the usual bevy of game previews and release date confirmations.

So, How'd It Go?: Gone this year was Peter Moore, who left shortly after last year's E3 to join EA Sports. This year's conference was hosted by Senior Vice President Don Mattrick (sorry ladies, he did not sport any GTA4 tattoos). Thankfully, the usual praise of system success was kept to the introductory paragraph (meaning no power point pie charts - hear that Sony!!!), allowing for the entire conference to focus on the games. Something of a rare feat at this year's E3. Mattrick did an acceptable job of not completely boring the audience, allowing the bulk of the content to be presented by the developers (who were responsible for most of the monotony). It was pretty much the usual fare; a lot of confirmation of existing rumors and one big sucker punch for Sony. Game demos for Gears of War 2, Fallout 3, Resident Evil 5 and a handful of Microsoft created titles were a nice reminder that the 360 is still about gaming. In previous years this might have been slammed for its mediocrity- but, given the competition, this stands as the year's best conference.

The Megatons:
Final Fantasy XIII comes to the Xbox: Arguably the biggest - and only real - surprise this year was the announcement that Final Fantasy XIII, previously an exclusive to the PS3, will also be gracing Microsoft's console on release day. However, to be quite honest, this really isn't much of a surprise as the writing's been on the wall for quite some time.

Games aren't cheap to produce these days; meaning Square-Enix needs to sell a lot of copies of XIII to justify exclusivity to one console. Given this model has been proving more and more frivolous in the last couple of years, it's no surprise Square reached out to Microsoft's large North American user-base to potentially make up more sales. Coupled with a diminishing Western market-share and general finical woes, this move was inevitable. In fact, the only people probably surprised by this announcement were 360 owners who bought PS3's exclusively for this game – or, possibly those crazy loyalists who still believe Square upholds the sacred honors and loyalties of a Japanese developer who won't bend to Western ways.

The real question is - how big a deal is this really? Recent Final Fantasy outings are shells of their original selves. It doesn't help matters that series creator Hironobu Sakaguchi and acclaimed series composer Nobuo Uematsu have moved on (to work with Microsoft of all ironies), creating a noticeable absence in the development of these games. Still, despite the change in tone, Final Fantasy XII was well received and XIII has been a large factor in early PS3 adoption, despite a non-existent release date. Also interesting is how Square has thoughtfully chosen NOT to release the game on the 360 in Japan, knowing the title would only sell on the Japanese-created PS3. Still, the real megaton, is not so much that Final Fantasy is coming to the 360, rather that the Playstation has lost yet another exclusive – and this one was arguably the most important.

The Fall Update: Like the Final Fantasy announcement, this overhaul of the 360 dashboard came as no surprise. Rumors of Mii-like avatars and a newly redesigned Graphic User Interface have been in full force for the last couple of weeks. Still, the fact that Microsoft has gone ahead, with what they laud as, the first major OS overhaul for any major video game system (I'm paraphrasing) is quite impressive and worthy of the buzz.

While one might be quick to throw out the old, 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it,' adage - you might want to actually USE the current 360 dashboard. It's not that great (especially when compared to the cleaner interfaces of Sony's PS3, Apple TV and even Microsoft's very own Media Center). The new look has streamlined the bevy of previous features into more logical groupings. For instance all system-stored content (be it games, videos, music and photos) are now located under the same category. Likewise, the annoying dependence on the blade to act as the middle man between every purchase and download you make has been wisely eliminated.

The big change is, of course, the new emphasis on social networking. Taking a page from both Sony's still non-existent Home and Nintendo's Miis, the 360 will now offer a visual online identity that can interact (virtually of course) with the 10 million other Xbox Live users. The addition of the community section allows for photo and movie viewing parties, as well as the ability to join scheduled game shows (created by the people who brought you Deal or No Deal). Given the Wii's recent success in pulling more casual players into video gaming, this overhaul certainly makes big strives in making the 360 more user-friendly.

On the other hand, this could also be a potentially huge misstep for Microsoft, as they've done very well creating a reputation as a system for the hardcore gamer. Achievement points are not something a passive player will understand. And, conversely, the guy picking up a 360 in anticipation of Gears of War 2 might not understand why he has to make a cute-digital representation of himself in order to kill massive amounts of Locust. Does a system that prides itself in pushing the most copies of Grand Theft Auto IV really want to reinvent itself as something for the family? The Wii kinda has that covered already.

Still, put me in the "can't wait for this update" camp, a large portion of IGN's 360 boards seem to agree with me as well, with another small minority citing the avatars as their only really peeve. Nothing like a fresh coat of paint to bring new life into an old appliance - Oh, it also doesn't hurt that you'll be able to install all your old games on to the HDD as well. Good bye GTA IV pop in.

You Might Have Missed: Harmonix's President stating that you should be able to transfer "almost all" of your music from Rock Band 1 into 2. Not including the handful of Rock Band 1 DLC that's forward compatible as well. Epic Win!

In Summary: As Don put it, "a lot of Playstation franchises are finding new homes on the Xbox". Add to that the further evolution of the industry's premiere online gaming community and a slew of great (but previously announced) titles for the Holidays, its safe to say the Xbox has a lot going for it all the way into 2009.

The King Of Limbo

2008-06-25T02:15:00.001-04:00

Plagiarism seems all too common in music, movies and writing these days, but what about video games? Sure, ideas and game play mechanics are reused all the time, but never has there been a blatant attempt to pass off another person’s work as their own.

Until now, that is.

Meet ‘Limbo of the Lost’, a simple point and click adventure game from the UK that has recently become the poster child for plagiarism and my recent obsession. You might have heard some rumblings about this game. If not, allow me to fill you in.

The brainchild of British designers Steve Bovis and Tim Croucher, Limbo is proof that you don’t need an entire design team to develop a video game. It works just as well if you “borrow” just about every element from previously released games. They might have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for that pesky Internet and its army of very bored and fairly well informed nerds.

Despite the game being released in July of last year, the plagiarism wasn’t discovered until June of this year, when GamePlasma (a gaming news site) posted a set of locations from Limbo that looked identical to some in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Shortly thereafter others looked into the game and discovered that Limbo had stolen not only from Oblivion, but nineteen other games (and several Hollywood films).

Perhaps what makes this whole debacle so much more wonderful, is how blatantly obvious the thefts are. Elements from games aren’t simply traced over or redrawn, rather photo-shopped out and PASTED directly into their game. Better yet, the original elements they created for the game, namely the in-game character models, are so hilariously awful and average it makes you feel bad for this small group of guys who essentially tried to create a homebrew video game – just stole and lied to complete it.

Oh, but it gets better. Evidentially they started developing this game all the way back in 1995 for the Amiga A500. Nothing scandalous there. That is, until a Neogaf poster uncovered some striking similarities between Limbo’s early screenshots and another Amiga game called Guy Spy.

If you’ve already started looking this game up, why not check this Just Adventure’s preview of the game from 2005? You’ll want to check out the bottom of the page were the production art is displayed. Nothing says professional like blue pen on white paper (although I wouldn’t be surprised if someone just photoshopped out the lined paper). Also, you gotta give credit to a group of guys with the balls to name a character in the game Cranny Faggot. The game isn’t just theft, it’s edgy theft.

Suffice it to say, Limbo has become the internet’s latest joke-of-the-day, spawning pages of fan art depicting the game’s protagonist, Captain Benjamin Spooner Briggs (no really!) against the backdrop of other famous games. Not to mention many message board threads pointing out the game’s many examples of plagiarism. That being said, half the fun is seeing this stuff for yourself (or getting ‘lost in the limbo’ if you will), so I’ve provided a little primer for you guys. Enjoy:

Limbo of the Lost Wiki (including just about everything)
GamePlasma: Limbo of the Lost or Oblivion?
Official Trailer on GameTrailers.com
Video of the intro and first 10 minutes of gameplay
Video of the game's epic ending (includes the now infamous King of Limbo so ng)
Video of the game's second ending (can you say sequel?)
Compo of the Lost Gallery (a collection of fan photoshops)
Making of Limbo of the Lost: Part 1
Making of Limbo of the Lost: Part 2
The unofficial Limbo of the Lost Flash Game

Epilogue: It should be noticed that all this recent interest has lead the game’s distributor to pull the game. Likewise, Magestic Studios (i.e. the three guys who made the game released the following statement):

"In response to the shocking notification that some alleged unauthorized copyrighted materials submitted by sources external to the development team have been found within the PC game Limbo of the Lost, we (the development team) have given our consent and full cooperation to both publishers who are recalling all units from all territories immediately. [...] To the best of our knowledge no one at Majestic, [European publisher] G2Games or [North American publisher Tri Synergy, Inc.] knew about this infringement and knowingly played any part in it."

Would these guys really lie?

But Is It Art?

2008-05-31T13:13:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week at the Wall Street Journal’s ‘All Things Digital: D6’ event, Sony CEO Howard Stringer proudly admitted that the PlayStation 3 is no longer “on life support” and can look forward to a promising year thanks to titles like Grand Theft Auto IV. You’ll get no argument there from me. The little system that couldn’t has taken some serious steps towards making itself a staple of the living room once again.

That being said, one can’t be too surprised about the system’s up-hill battle; Lofty launch price, mediocre first generation titles along with some questionable hardware configurations made it quite the dark horse.

What didn’t help was Sony’s out-of-this-world advertising campaign. I can’t quite pinpoint when the shift happened, probably around the release of the PlayStation 2, with a set of very misguided art-house commercials. Still, that was ‘The Bends’ compared to this generation’s ‘Kid A’ style adverts.

The following might as well be seen as a collection (art exhibit, if you will); a sad commentary on a company that fell in love with its own hubris. The PlayStation brand had transcended the gaming console; it was now an extension of the human soul. As such, mere print art could not express its majesty and grace, pain and loss, passion and fiery passion. It needed an advertisement that could properly reflect its inability to redefine the exact boundaries of the humanity it regularly touched. In other words, Sony and its marketing became a pair of espresso-drinking art-house yuppies.

If ever you needed a better example of how a company went out of its way to alienate and just plain confuse the holy-living-fuck out of its customer base, look no further than the following pieces of “art”:

“Play Beyond” was Sony’s marketing campaign going into the PS3 launch. Some of you might remember seeing pictures of these banners posted in and around E3 2006. The ad itself is relatively clever from a visual standpoint, until you take into account Sony is trying to sell you a six hundred dollar piece of technology with a school-yard game you can play for free. Not to mention how quickly tiresome ‘rock/paper/scissors’ gets (especially when you run into that one kid who refuse to stop using the stick of dynamite).

This advertisement is actually quite amusing when you take into account the PlayStation 3 was developed by Japanese people. You’d think they’d be more sensitive to these sort of things.

Couple of funny things about this piece; Firstly, I think Sony is going a bit too far with this whole ‘console war’ concept (although I do like the idea that Sony eventually becomes a fascist super power). Secondly, there isn’t a clear sense of whether Sony is the victor here, or attempting to rebuild after a devastating loss? Also, am I the only one getting Saddam flash backs with this ad?

This is actually a recent advertisement for the PlayStation 2. Believe it or not, the system still sells quite well (not surprising given the fact Sony stripped away all backwards compatibility from the PS3). Now, I’m not quite sure whom this ad is geared for? People with personality disorders perhaps? Is the implication that if I play video games, I’m going to become fucked up? Because I think that’s a negative point.

Also, have we all noticed the trend of Sony advertising a video game console without picturing the fucking thing? I dunno, might be kinda important for people to know what to look for, when they’re you know, going out to buy it. Moot point, I’m sure.

Like the PlayStation 2? Like threesomes? Is your face a European style plug? Boy do we have the gaming console for you. Does it even matter if I point out there is a dog in the far left corner watching?

I really wish this was some kind of sick photoshopped joke by myself. You know, the punch line to an obviously absurd piece. My attempt to spoof the previous pieces with something so obviously stupid and perverted that no Fortune 500 Company would ever be stupid enough to a) commission, b) approve and c) release to the public. Alas, it’s not a joke. And it’s from Austria. Proof this country needs to go away once and for all.

Finally a piece of classic art to wrap up this fine exhibition; this Italian pieces comes all the way from 2005. Intended to celebrate Sony’s tenth anniversary of PlayStation magic, the company figured, ‘And what better way to celebrate our birthday than to besmirch the visage of the holy lord, all the while riding the success of a rather mediocre Mel Gibson movie’:

In summary, one might reach a larger audience with their product, by avoiding self-indulgence in pretentiousness. Also, it might save a large number of people from reoccurring nightmares of being anally raped by a thumb.

Sex Is Not The Enemy

2007-11-15T03:08:00.004-05:00

The recent revelation of Mass Effect’s man/alien sex sequence has once again stirred up debate amongst gamers if sex has any place in video games. One could argue that as the user base for video games grows older, so should the content. Yet, while blood and dismemberment has become commonplace, it seems alien side-boob is still too much for us. If 2005’s Hot Coffee incident (or Hot Coffeegate to some) has taught us anything, it’s that society (read: anyone looking to run for president or senate) might not have as open a mind as we’d like it too. Okay, to be fair, having an open mind might not have anything to do with accepting a mini-game where you take your girlfriend back to your house for some one-on-one action, nevertheless there might be some inherent beauty to the sight of a man and a blue-skinned alien chick doing the nasty. God knows, Kirk did it for years on Star Trek and few people batted an eye.

My point is sex is here to stay; in fact, it’s been here for quite some time. Who can forget the groundbreaking work of Custard’s Revenge for the Atari 2600. The story of a man, with a facile composed of three very big and very American pixels, running across the screen amongst a hailstorm of arrows to make beautiful, passionate love to a bound Indian slave. More recently God of War featured it, as did Viva Piñata (love dance my ass, those worms were fuckin’). Like the necessary carnage of Gears of War (it is after all a commentary on war… with aliens) we must stop repressing what comes so natural to our species. Which is why I prose that rather then removing future Hot Coffee-like mishaps, we include MORE of them, publicly, under no vials of hidden code or timed occurrences (don’t think I forgot about your weird, gay, groping man orgy SimCopter). Let us educate our children now, for they are (after all) our future and should know how to properly express themselves to the opposite sex; rather than asking for a lap dance from a dwarf woman in the World of WarCraft.

Here is a list of games I propose we ‘Hot Mod’ (mind you this is just a preliminary list, I would hope that one day every game has an unnecessary occurrence of alien side-boob or something equally beautiful/artistic):

DEAD OR ALIVE: EXTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL:Should come as no surprise that this game is first on the list. After all its part of a franchise that gave us the option to increase boob bounce sensitivity. In fact, its rather surprising recent D.O.A. don’t have some sort of hidden hentai mode, given how far they’ve pushed the sexual envelope. I suppose we can chalk it up to the designers wanting to keep their artistic integrity intact when making a game about d-cup models playing beach volleyball in dental floss bikinis. Oh, who are we kidding? The sole purpose of owning these games is to masturbate to, they just happen to also have water polo mini-games.

The ‘Hot Mod’ would modify an already existing element of the game that involved you purchasing presents for the girls. Originally this was some sort of misguided attempt to impress the girls with no pay-off. Now one will be able to have sexual intercourse with any of the girls; provided you their undisclosed minimum buy out. Reinforcing the idea in young children that to have sex with a hot women, one only needs to show them how much money you have. For those gamers who are unable to meet the girl’s finical demands, generally this will steam from the gamer’s inability to make money (hey, its supposed to be true to life right?). One can try to remedy the situation by furiously mashing the X button to guilt the girl into sex. Mind you this may ruin your chances to secure a marriage achievement, as your cool meter will surely take a hit.

SUPER MARIO GALAXY:Everybody loves Nintendo’s legendary mascot. Yet, no one ever points out the fact that after twenty years he just can’t settle down with Princess Peach. To make things worse, we’ve also seen Mario chasing after different women from time to time. Sometimes it’s Daisy, more recently Rosalina. To children this sets several bad precedents. Firstly, with age and wisdom comes the realization that Mario may be philanderer. The ‘Hot Mod’ would remedy this image crisis on both levels. Secondly, because we never see, or at least get the hint, that Mario beds these women, it might tell young boys that its okay not to be persistent; in turn creating a whole generation of losers who chase mushrooms around rather than sealing the deal. In other words, a generation of homosexuals.

It’s important to instill in children that Mario is a one women man; a lesson that will be particularly important to little girls who will come to understand that sleeping with only one guy won’t cause them to be labeled a whore by peers. Likewise, rather then collecting gold stars at the end of every level, Mario will now collect gold colored condoms. These condoms will be expressly used to bang Princess Peach at the end of the game (after she is saved, of course). I never did buy Mario’s persistent determination to rid the Mushroom kingdom of Bowser, it makes more sense that Mario would navigate such perilous lands for pussy. After all, isn’t that why guys scale mountains? Most importantly we’re teaching kids to use safe-sex measures that will protect them from the evils of Aids and Syphilis - who come to think of it should be the new bad guys in Galaxy. Lastly, if you’ve been looking for a title to make full use of the Wiimotes revolutionary features, look no further than this Hot Mod, which will require a strap-on peripheral to further “enhance” the gaming experience.

BIOSHOCK:Oh yes, there are lesson to be learned here as well - specifically the wrongs of incest. Why should we “harvest” slash “save” a Little Sister, when we now have the harder task of preventing ourselves from taking advantage of an obviously weak and emotionally damaged little girl? Clearly some changes to the game would have to be made in order to comply with decency standards. Namely the Little Sisters would no longer be “little”. Raising their ages to eighteen won’t harm the game’s overall narrative, nor would altering their character designs to look more like Kristen Bell. Gamers will now have the arduous task of deciding if taking advantage of their in-game sisters is worth the extra EVE and various power-ups. Those who manage to fight off the urge of intercourse with girls who look like Kristen Bell will be rewarded with a hundred extra achievement points, as well as the satisfaction of knowing right from wrong. It might not have been Game of the Year before, but with this kind of morality, it will be now.

THE MII CHANNEL:Reach out and touch some one. Literally! If the Wii gives us the ability to make avatars of ourselves, why shouldn’t we be able to take them online and interact with other people? Specifically, those of the opposite sex. The ‘Hot Mod’ here would be quite extensive. Combining all your experiences from the above games and then some. Where before the Mii channel only allowed Mii’s to parade around, the mod will give you the ability to ask other users (via their Mii) out on a date. Here children will get a crash course in life. Take a Mii out to dinner and worry if you have enough Wii points to pay for the meal. If the date is going bad, you can try buying the person’s affection out. However, unlike the A.I. of D.O.A. you’re now dealing with a real person. Who knows how they’ll react? With any long term relationship comes sex (along with all the pitfalls from inexperience). The shame of having to go to the Shop Channel and purchase condoms on your mom’s credit card or having your Dad’s Mii walk in on you and your date during the anal.

The fun doesn’t stop there, as a wealth of virtual experimentation awaits you with none of the negative effects on real life. Bi-curious? Ask out another guy Mii. Considering an orgy? Go for it! But don’t blame us at the sight of seeing your Mii cross swords with your best friend’s Mii. Uh-oh, you got your date pregnant? No problem, head on over to the Wiibortion Channel and get rid of the fetus. But remember, you’re killing a virtual life here. Can you deal with such repercussions? Lastly, a child will never forget the pain and horror of seeing their Mii die of Aiids. Sure all of this could be done with a ‘Hot Mod’ to the wildly popular and more appropriate The Sims. But honestly, I wouldn’t trust Will Wright to finish anything in this century.

So there you have it - education through entertainment. And remember, the next time you see an alien side-boob in a video game, don’t look at it as indecent, look at it as paving the way for a freer more open-minded society.

God I Halo 3 Hype

2007-09-23T22:58:00.001-04:00

Like any good nerd will tell you, this Tuesday will either be the gamers equivalent of the second coming of Christ (if Christ wore a green storm trooper costume, that is) or the single most annoying day to log into any message board, hoping to avoid the words: ‘HALO 3’, ‘MASTER CHIEF’ and ‘WORST ENDING EVER’ all preceded with ‘ZOMG’ and about half a dozen exclamation marks. I speak of Halo 3, of course, the final piece in Bungie/Microsoft’s epic trilogy about a Space Man and his consistent run-ins with a big circular piece of metal. Like most IGNers, I’m counting the minutes until the game's release. I, like so many others, have plunked down well over a hundred dollars on a Super Special Limited Edition of the game which presents itself in the shape of the protagonist head; and oddly I have no second thoughts about the more practical applications said money could have gone too.

What’s odd, in my case anyways, is that I think Halo is one of the stupidest video gaming franchise to ever grace a gaming platform. The game’s story is something of a Swiss cheesed style miss-mash of Starship Troopers, Aliens, Half-Life and Little Shop of Horrors, all lovingly mixed together in a color multicolored explosion of bump mapping and 5.1 orchestrated sound. Having finished the previous two games, I still have trouble explaining what the over story is about. Evidentially, some Aliens created a giant ring to house a bloodthirsty parasitic-like species, who are all controlled by some giant plant. But where Mary Shelley’s Dr. Frankenstein accidentally created a monster in the false hope of extending human life, the Alien Forerunners create the Flood (who share just about every visual similarity with the mutants from Half Life) to simply drag out the game’s length by several, very annoying, levels. Oh, did I mention they’re controlled by a giant plant? After two games, the writers (an awfully generous title) of Halo have yet to divulge (read: figure out) what the Flood's purpose is; somehow I doubt Halo 3 will answer this question.

The game’s hero and primary action figure candidate is Master Chief. A wicked, cool, badass, hero, who could probably be described with about half a dozen more nouns and adjectives, none of which would shed any more light on who he is. Clearly, he’s the only man for the job – by job I mean running through dozens of repetitive levels killing thousands of Flood units, who in turn try and kill him. Don’t worry about having to solve any in game puzzles, acquire power-ups or experience points of any sort, Halo has been aptly subtitled ‘Combat Evolved’ for one good reason; its gracefully removed every innovative aspect of the first person shooter genre, save for one thing, the combat. Game of the Year 2001, am I right?

Yet, just as I skipped out on class on November 9, 2004 to play Halo 2, I will find new and creative ways to make sure I play as much of Halo 3 as humanly possible on the 25th, despite having agreed to work on a two day commercial shoot (gotta pay off that Super Ultra Limited Edition some how). Why do all this for a game series I just called ‘the stupidest franchise of all time’? One simple answer: genius marketing. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb to say the finest marketing campaign for a video game/franchise ever.

Microsoft and Bungie, in all its wisdom and grace, have taken Halo from a piece of software and turned it into a cultural milestone. Gamers are no longer buying a game, they’re ‘Finishing The Fight’. Despite the fact we were promised this very fight in the last game (the cover and early E3 preview of Halo 2 displayed an earth world setting that was barley found in the final game). To not buy this game, would be a huge disservice to yourself as a member of the human race. As if you’re depriving yourself of air or sex (not that many gamers would know what either feels or tastes like). Forget the fact that early reports place the game’s playtime at a scant 8 hours. Or that the ending barley answers any of the questions from the previous two titles (not a first for the franchise) – WE GOTTA FINISH THE FIGHT FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

With 10 million already spent in marketing, even your grandmother should have a basic idea of who Master Chief is by now. His face (helmet would be more apt) is everywhere. Hell, you can even preorder the game at 7-11! A fuckin’ 24/7 convenience store will be selling you a brand new video game AT MIDNIGHT OF IT’S LAUNCH DATE! They can't be bothered to replace the three hot dogs that have sat on the same spindle since you were five years of age, however, a video game that offers no convenience to a late night shopper desperately in need of a snack will be fully available for the second it can be sold.

Recently a television campaign was launched where an old army veteran revisits a memorial site for what one initially mistakes as a World War 2 memorial. Within seconds we realize that the old man is reminiscing about fighting along side Master Chief. Imagine the audacity of portraying a video game in a setting that would normally honor masses of people who really died fifty years previous. Well, actually, you don’t need to imagine it, you can go to halo3.com and take a virtual tour of the fictional Halo war memorial. Hell, why not enjoy the site with a Halo 3 branded Mountain Dew? Or better yet! Watch the video on your Halo 3 themed Xbox 360 gaming console or Zune portable music player? I should be disgusting, offended, even, by how crass and exploitive this whole marketing strategy is. I should be… BUT HOLY MOTHER OF GOD... I GOTTA FINISH THE MOTHER FUCKIN’ FIGHT!

Few properties can claim to rise beyond their initial source material. Star Wars was probably the first to do it well. Now its Halo turn to reach that magical point where the source material is irrelevant to the overall world its spawned. Microsoft could forgot to package the actual game, yet, few people would notice as they'll be too busy snuggling up to the classy, black, embossed packaging the game comes in. People love the Halo image; A wicked, cool, badass hero, decked out in a pale-green armor suit, wielding a giant fuck-you gun and giving the middle finger to everyone and everything. Dude even drives a cool car. Oh you've heard of it, it’s called the Warthog. Who wouldn’t want to drive a vehicle named after an animal that brings about massive amounts of fear in its prey, despite not having a single wart on it? Dude, probably fucks like three hundred chicks at once! Who can say? Master Chief has no back-story. We never see him when he’s not fighting massive amounts of Flood. So I can only imagine in his free time he’s just running trains on hot co-eds. Dude’s name is MASTER CHIEF after-all. Two nouns that basically means he’s the best at being the best.

In a nutshell, Halo just exudes cool and everybody wants to be its best friend. Certainly the game is fun enough and you'll be hard pressed to find a better online shooter anywhere. However, is its pomp and circumstance more deserving then of a title like BioShock? Definitely not. But then again, Big Daddies don’t dive Warthogs and run trains on co-eds. Microsoft should be patting themselves on the back this week. Despite having made a console that crashes with greater frequency then Lindsey Lohan (I had too, it was too easy) they’ll definitely be reaping they’re rewards in the form of millions of dollars in revenue. Already, Halo 3 has the highest preorder numbers in history. God only knows what the sales figures for the months to come will be like. It’s a shame, however, that 3 marks the end of the Halo trilogy. Imagine the money that could be made from Halo 4. Ah, well, I guess we’ll never know, for alas, the fight will have been finished.

Unless, of course….

Halo 4: We just found some more fuckin’ Halos, which means… MORE FUCKIN FIGHTING AND MERCHANDISE!

A guy can dream can't he?